For many couples, great sex without intercourse means experimenting, which can feel strange. But novelty is key to sexual zing. Doing things differently stimulates the brain to release dopamine, and dopamine heightens erotic intensity. In other words, if you adopt some new non-intercourse moves, lovemaking without intercourse can feel more pleasurable than ever.
Here are some tips to not having an intercourse but feeling the pleasure of lovemaking.
1. SAY “I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.” OUT LOUD.
Say this when you’re making out and things are just starting to heat up. Grab their face, look them right in the eye and tell them that you’re not going to have sex with them. Then don’t slow down at all.
What’s implied here is that “everything else” is on the table. Like some wondrous Dionysian buffet.
2. USE YOUR HANDS
It’s amazing what you can do when you commit to just using your hands. Because hand and finger work are generally considered foreplay, we don’t often explore the vast range of what our hands alone can do. Namely, we can get a lot more specific about placement, pressure and speed than we can with intercourse or oral.
It makes sense, right? We wouldn’t use our junk to open a tricky lock or use our mouths to play Jenga. When a task requires subtlety, grace and attention, we use our hands.
3. A TOUCH OF FANTASY
You don’t necessarily even have to dress up as anything (I mean, I’m not going to stop you…), but a little hint of fantasy can imbue non-penetrative sex with all the intensity of “going all the way.”
For example, try planning a “professional” massage complete with oils, hot towels, new age music, etc. You can even make the guy or girl wait in the living room with a magazine until the bedroom is ready. Once you’ve sufficiently oiled them up, worked out all the kinks and ushered your partner into a state of deep relaxation — surprise them with a “happy ending” (yes, this works on women, too). The fact that they’re already super-stimulated combined with just a taste of the taboo is likely to send them right over the edge.
4. GOING DOWN
The first step to giving good head is to get over the idea that you’re doing somebody a favor. If you don’t really want to do it, it’s going be a bummer for everybody. The second hump to get over, as with using your hands, is the idea that oral is something you do just to get your partner ready for intercourse.
Once you get down with oral sex for its own sake, it can be as emotional and intense for both parties as “actual” sex.
5. DO IT IN PUBLIC
It’s way easier to pull off non-penetrative sex in public than it is to secretly have full-on intercourse. In a car, a movie theater, under a thoroughly clothed table — you’re not likely to get caught if you can keep the noise to a minimum. Let’s face it. You’ve had some forgettable intercourse in your life, but you’ll always remember that time you received oral on a Ferris wheel.
6. THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE
Sex that’s unexpected, but welcome, is always hot sex, whether intercourse is involved or not. Go down on her while she’s watching “House.” Put your hand down his pants while he’s making coffee in the morning. You’ll probably find that these surprise encounters will make your average end-of-the-night, in-a-bed sex that much hotter, too.
0 comments:
Post a Comment